My elementary-school-aged daughter has a cellphone. It wasn’t an easy decision to make this purchase. My husband and I put a lot of time, thought, and research into it before we bought it. However, after weighing out the pros and cons, we decided to equip our daughter with an iPhone. It’s now been a couple of years, and we don’t feel guilty about giving her a phone.
I understand there are so many valid worries about getting your child a mobile device, such as how easy it can be to start excessively scrolling, distraction from constant notifications, and, of course, cyberbullying and peer pressure concerns.
For us, though, we’ve found enough positives to outweigh the negatives of her having a phone. We’ve also found that there are enough effective tools to eliminate or reduce the impact of the negatives. Paired with the important conversations we’ve had with her to introduce the device safely and responsibly, we feel comfortable with our choice.
For anyone else on the fence about this decision, here are the positives we’ve found after giving our daughter a phone.
There are strong parental control features
With the built-in parental controls on an iPhone enabled, there’s not much my daughter can do on her phone without our knowledge and permission. Her screen time is limited, so after a certain amount of time on an app, it shuts down, and she has to request more time from us. We can approve or deny that time from our phones or from her phone by entering a passcode.
She can’t download any apps without our permission either, so she doesn’t have any social media or access to the Safari web browser. In the evening, her phone goes into downtime, so she can only access a few limited contacts like her parents, grandparents, and one neighborhood friend. Though I can’t prevent every issue, by limiting time, content, and contacts, I can prevent most unsafe scenarios.
Connectivity brings us peace of mind and a sense of safety
Now that she’s getting older, she’s away from home more at activities and playdates, and knowing that I can still communicate with her gives me a huge sense of relief. Being able to get in touch with me while she’s at a sleepover or hanging out at a friend’s house gives her a sense of relief as well. When her dad and I were recently out of town for a long weekend for a wedding, she was nervous about us being a flight away, but being able to reach us before and after we got off the plane calmed her anxiety about the situation.
Plus, it’s easier to coordinate after-school activities like lessons and practices if she’s still accessible while she’s there, and it makes schedule changes much easier to handle. Location tracking features and being able to call and message on cellular—and not just Wi-Fi—adds an extra layer of comfort that we can get a hold of each other.
She’s learning responsibility and some important life skills
Having to be responsible for a valuable and expensive item has been good for my daughter, since she has tended in the past to be a little careless with her stuff. Since she’s owned a phone, I can tell that she’s been more careful with her possessions since she knows that she now owns something that can’t easily be replaced.
She’s also getting early practice with managing boundaries with technology, which I think is so important because tech and devices aren’t going away and will always be part of her life as a Gen Alpha. I think getting practice early on limiting screen time and scrolling will be beneficial as she ages. My hope is that it will be easier for her to self-limit later on.
Plus, she’s getting a jump start on using a device for some of the things it’s best for, like organizing her time with a calendar or spending time on apps with educational benefits, like the app to track her chores and pay her allowance, which also has financial learning games included.
I get a lot of adorable texts
The most unexpected but delightful benefit of my child having a phone is how fun it is to get a cute, unexpected text from her during the day. Nothing is better than getting an “I love you!” text when she’s away from home. I love getting this extra insight into her personality by seeing her texting style, too, which always includes an emoji and some Gen Alpha slang.
It’s a flexible device that can grow with her
I like that purchasing a phone means I hypothetically own a device that my kid can have for years. The device is also really flexible–I can start out with heavy parental controls and then loosen them over time. It’s a device that will carry her into her teenage years, instead of something more limited like a watch that she’ll grow out of much sooner. However, if you’re not ready to fully equip your child with a phone, there are some great smartphone alternatives available.
Final thoughts on getting my child a phone
Getting your child a phone isn’t a decision that works for everyone, but it’s what worked best for our family. I know giving your kid a device comes with a feeling of guilt because opinions are divided about kids and cell phones. But many parents have valid reasons for giving their children a phone. For us, it’s about safety—I refuse to feel guilty about wanting to stay connected when she’s away from us.
Brigette Marshall, Contributing Writer
Brigette is a mom of two little girls and works full-time in project management, both at home and in the office. She loves book clubbing, antique shopping, watching documentaries, and convincing her husband to cook gourmet meals for her.
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